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How to Waste a Whole Day

_{Written 01/06/01 3:15pm}

Its very uncommon for me to skip school. Don't get me wrong, i hate every minute of education. The sheer joy of staying home on a snow day is enough to get me up early despite hating getting up on school mornings. The true nostalgia of no school is when you skip school, be it sick day or a way to get out of a feared test. Days staying home are few and far in between. Of course now that you've pushed aside the largest time waster since Saturday morning cartoon affairs, what will you do with it? To get me thinking, the brittle yet genial 8bit NES does its share. The internet obviously has to be running, sans user. This is undoubtedly the choice time to download MP3s when corporate magnates have their T3s on, exposing an array of the pirated data.

Usually when im home from school, im also alone. Its not that im complaining, i love it!.. the TV guide doubles as a threshold of the media world and a silent companion, gimpy in composition. Lets see whats on... Unfortunately this is the time a myraid of soap operas, infomericials, and reruns are on. Miss the X-files last Sunday? Well its on early noon. Less popular shows are also filtered to these humble timeslots, far from the Prime-Time viewings! Oldies, and goodies are on also: M*A*S*H, Partridge Family, and of course the Monkees are on.

Days home deny any predetermined meal times. I swear i must have eaten 12 times throughout the day: be it 'wavable foods, snacks, cereal, you name it, its probably eaten. Around 3 oclock your sense of security ends...your fellow students are also probably home, thus the day resumes its run-of-the-mill scheduling. Ah oh well, at least homework is out of the question. Heres a guide if you want to waste your day viewing your 300$ Technicolor 'Parent.'

Shows to look for when sleepin' in
• M*A*S*H - Great 'Nam show
• I Dream of Jeanie - Surrealistic sit-com in 60s vintage
• Dukes of Hazzard - Deep south show, enough cliches for the cult follower
• The Monkees - Hey, hey, we're the monkeys, 'nuff said
• The Twilight Zone - Awesome show, mad spooky
• The X-Files - Look for the new male agent under the old male agent slot.
• Scooby Doo - Psycho-mania, psycho-funny, and psycho-retro. I have yet to hear 'Zoiks' as an exclamation from a stranger.
• Cow & Chicken - Cartoon Networks' flagship comic humor.
• Thundercats - Trip on memory lane and whats with Jaga's analogy with Obi?
• Any B-movie starring some obscured actors with a tried plotline. Abundantly found on USA.