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Mr. T, fool.




A Brief and Unemotional Goodbye to Bradlees

Written 1-28-01

Rapidly following my exodus from CVS, i started to have urges to spend my money on countless, and rather trivial possessions. Five dollars for this game here, three for this poster there. Theres a pattern to it, but i didnt notice. What i did notice was that Bradlees was going out of business. Of course, by now I was a veteran of scavenging Caldors, which closed a few years prior. Well two weeks into the sales, i decided to drive down and check out what was brewing. Lets see how much Ill spend here, ughhh.

Session One - Twenty Percent Off This discount was a killer to me. Given flourescent colored advertisements and the gleeful jingle that 'its the last day closing sale' the store was half emptied by the time i got there. Cripes, people, its only twenty percent!! Wave a sale and people go nuckin-futz! I cherish the fact i didnt buy anything. Rather i did the sneakier (and riskier thing) of hiding my wanted merchandise throughout the store. Most were hidden in sections with unwanted goods such as Pokemon backpacks, and sewing machines. Stuff that seemed high demand were definately the Electronics dept. with a runner up of the Toy department. The only two objectives there that i had. I managed to hide Starwars Lego Sets and Star Trek Videos. But by god, i never was able to retrieve my hidden Monty Python's Life of Brian. Aurrrgggghhhh!

Session Two - Forty Percent Off The second time around i went with Smackavicz and our parents'. This time we discovered two CD spindles left along with a mass anthology of Star Trek tapes and Star Wars videos. But how can we get the stuff out of there without that old woman up front snagging us in to pay it. Thats where our sneaky techniques kicked in. We placed our goods on the other side of the shelves which was outside the electronics dept. And we picked them up afterwards. From there we hid them in endcaps and such. Just before we left, i had a premonition that somehow we wouldnt recover our stuff next time. Chris bought Star Trek III and I bought the first one. Im glad we did so. I also brought my digital camera to 'bookmark' where we hid our stuff.

Session Three -Sixty Percent Off(Sat, the 27th) The moment i stepped in the door i noticed the store was in its latter stages of imploding. And worse!: hordes and hordes of minorities buying stuff they dont want but must buy for the sake of buying. Gotta find our stuff! After fifteen minutes of scrambling under boxes of Pokemon, Action Man figures, and the infamous Sewing Machines, i recovered two survivors of the sequential welfare aftermaths, Star Trek V and a cheesy UFO documentary. I gripped these intensely as i raced by the product-hungry state-dependents. After scouring the last remains of toys and stuff that i know ill see at Ocean State Job Lot soon, i made it to the skeletal remains of the clothing department, salvaging a pair of cordoroys. I paid for my 60% of perchases and proceeded to the car. It was definatly my last time there, nine days were left and nothing of interest left there. I sure wont be there the last two days. I recall back in 98 watching hispanic women fighting over a pair of jeans that i could pick up at the Salvation Army for cheaper. Sigh,..dumb people somehow survived wars after all.


And what the hell is this???


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